So I’ve had two catch-ups with girlfriends in the last week that involved baby talk. And by baby talk I mean we talked about babies. But both were at different ends of the scale.
My first girlfriend is at the beginning of her journey down the baby conception path. Her toes are just over the “okay let’s do this” line and she’s excited and scared at the same time.
I remember being there. I remember being so excited at the mere prospect of being pregnant. The mere thought of holding our baby in my arms. It was all so new and exciting. And terribly, terribly terrifying. So many “what ifs”. What if we don’t fall pregnant soon? What if something goes wrong? What if I suffer Post-Natal Depression? What if I’m a crap Mum?? Clearly, all the what if’s that I had were all negative but that’s another post for another day.
My friend has started a blog that she has shared with only a handful of people, one of them being me. I feel honoured. I must admit I cried when I read her blog. I’m crying now remembering one specific post. I won’t go into detail but it involves being in the baby aisle at the local supermarket.
All her hopes and thoughts as she begins this baby journey are in this blog and I am humbled by her honesty. It reminds me not to take my children for granted. It reminds me of how much I wanted them before they arrived.
The second catch-up was with a friend who has a baby girl still only weeks old. She’s still so new and green. And by “she” I’m referring to both of them. I look at my friend and I recognise myself in the early stages of when Polynesian Princess entered our lives. The largest common denominator we have is lack of confidence. I had none. My friend has none. And that’s okay. I tell my friend that it’s okay to feel lost and totally clueless. This is the first time she’s done this, so let’s not expect too much of ourselves.
When her baby starts to cry and she doesn’t know why, I can relate to her rising angst. I recall being so totally lost when Polynesian Princess would cry and you would have no idea what to do. Change your nappy? Feed you? Put you to down for a sleep? The list seemed to be endless and before I knew it, we were both in tears.
I feel it’s no accident that I’ve seen these two friends in the past week. It has helped me to be thankful for what I have and mindful of how far I’ve come. It’s helped to ground me with the knowledge that I’m doing an okay job. This motherhood gig is at times rewarding, exhausting, joyful and harrowing, and as I watch my friends begin both their journeys I wish them much love, strength and confidence.