Image: imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Anyone who knows me at all will know that I wouldn’t usually the phrase “I am irked”. I would normally say “that really shit me off”. And when something really annoys the living bejesus out of me, I’ll substitute shit with the eff word. Just to really drive the point home. Maybe I’ll even slam my hand on the table. Or someone.
And I get irked by a lot of things. A lot! So much so that I’m betting that all those people who are simply nauseated by my constant attempt at being positive with a gratitude journal and upbeat photos of my life, will be sitting back and thinking whatevs. But it’s true people, it is soooo true. At the best of times I’m irritated, at the worst of times I want to burn this city to the ground. I just choose to hide that side of my personality.
I must start with a caveat. This post is totally and unequivocally a rant of the First World Problems proportion. I wrote a whole post on first world problems and you can read it here. I apologise, but occasionally I would like to let off steam. I try to be positive on a daily basis. I keep a photographic gratitude journal, and I generally only post happy things online. But I’m only human. And to illustrate that, I thought I would write a post about things that irk me.
So let’s begin. I won’t bore you with all the things that get on my nerves, just four that spring to mind as I'm typing this post.
People whose entire contribution to your texting conversation is “K”
Me: Will be there in half an hour, see you soon!
What. Are you too friggin cool for school to actually type the “o” that directly precedes that “k”? Don’t get me wrong. I’m guilty of shortening a lot of words when I’m texting. But for some reason, that ‘k’ really gets under my skin.
When people (read: The Architect) don’t finish one thing in the pantry before they open another
Case in point: there will be at least 2-3mm of cordial left in the apple & blackcurrant bottle, but he will crack open the Coola cordial. I say “you can’t just finish the other bottle first?” and he will reply “but I didn’t want that one – I want this one”. And you know what? He ain’t foolin’ no-one. He knows, and I know, that he can’t be bothered throwing the bottle out. He knows, and I know, that that bottle will sit in the pantry for WEEKS and he still won’t feel like apple & blackcurrant cordial. These bottles would double in number if it weren’t for me, the goody two-shoes rule-follower with my Mum’s voice from childhood ringing in my ears “finish it off before you open a new one!” dutifully drinking all the dregs that The Architect doesn’t want.
My family will be choking with laughter right now. Repeating myself is probably THE MOST annoying thing for me. Which is most unfortunate given we have a five year old and a two year old. And we all know: they’re not much for getting things first go, are they? No, no, no. There must be MUCH repetition. And I’ve discovered that repeating it with clenched teeth, screaming it or clawing at your hair in frustration isn’t really conducive with getting a message across. In fact it could actually frighten them. Yeah. Mumma of the year.
Still. Friggin irritating.
People who can whistle perfectly
I know – I’m such a grumpy old wummin. But this one has been with me for as long as I can remember. And as a general sweeping statement: people who can whistle a tune perfectly seem to think that you want to hear them. I used to encounter whistlers on the street, waiting at bus stops and sometimes even ON the bus. If you don’t like people speaking loudly on their phones on public transport (which I don’t), you’re definitely not going to like someone whistling a tune (perfectly or imperfectly) in close range. Are you with me?
I’m going to stop here. I could go on and on and on but that would serve no purpose at all (people who sniff, people who talk on the phone at the cinema, people who are ignorant, people who…okay that’s enough – my anxiety levels are rising…).
So there. There’s a small list of things that can irk.
Let me know what irks you.