A letter to my sixteen-year-old-self

Dear Leanne,

First of all, I have to tell you: don’t worry about your weight.  All those moments of hating yourself because you think your thighs/bum/whatever is fat, are wasted moments.  I can tell you that this is not something you’re worrying about now.  Don’t waste your time fretting or comparing, you’re perfect and just enjoy it.  Oh, and those desperate sit-ups before you go to bed aren’t doing anything.  You’re not fooling anyone, least of all your stomach so stop doing it. 

Secondly, get rid of him. You know who I’m talking about.  He’s not right for you.  You know it, Mum knows it, hell I think even Ryan knows it and he’s only seven!  He’ll move on very quickly, trust me.  And yes, you’ll be broken-hearted and probably cry for weeks and weeks, but you’ll get over it and move on, and eventually be happier.  Spend more time with the girls and just enjoy being a teenager.

And still on the subject of boys: stay away from that butcher.  I repeat: Stay. Away. From. The Butcher.  He is no good.  You might think he’s cute, cause of his black hair and blue eyes (you have a thing for this combo as you get older), I can’t stress it any further.  And for God’s sake don’t move in with him.  If this is the only message you take away from this.  Please Leanne, I’m begging you.  Stay away….

Instead of doing Hospitality Management at university (which, can I tell you, you don’t finish), you need to do Communications.  Marketing, PR, anything along those lines.  You enjoy writing and believe it or not, you forget this as you get older and you stop writing for about 25 years.  Keep a folio of your work and don’t throw this away.

Learn to say no.  And more importantly learn how to say no.  You can’t please everybody and saying ‘yes’ to everybody only makes you miserable.  People will get over it.  Some people may not even notice!  You will feel empowered when you learn that you are actually in charge of your own destiny.

Get into running and riding.  You do eventually, but it would probably do you a service if you started now.  What you sometimes go through isn’t always PMS.  You will be diagnosed with depression in your 20’s.  Running helps.  Exercise of any description helps, but running is the best for you.  You’re not going mad.  The way you feel has a name.  Also, you can probably ease off on the Evening Primrose Oil because it ain’t doin’ jackshit ;)

When you’re about 26, you’ll receive an email from a guy.  An Architect.  He’ll ask you out for dinner.  Say yes.  Say yes, and hold onto him with both hands.  You won’t regret it.  This one is the one.  This one is the one Mum always told you about.  When she’d be cradling you in her arms after your most recent break-up, and she’d soothe you with words like “there’s someone out there for you Leanney, someone special, someone who will love you with everything they’ve got.  When it happens, you’ll know, you’ll just know”.  You don’t believe her when she tells you this, but it’s true.

I don’t know what else to tell you Leanne.  Start acting on your own instincts, especially when it comes to your relationships.  Learn how to say no.  Stick with the writing.  Stay strong, stay positive and have faith in your own inner voice.

I love you.  I don’t tell you often enough, but I do.