Monday, 9 January 2012

Beauty #failwhale

So there I sat.  Icing my top lip and thinkng “I don’t think I’ve ever had to do this before”.  Ice my top lip, that is.  You see the other day I went and had my eyebrows ‘threaded’.  I was a virgin threadee and was very pleasantly surprised with the result!  And all for the bargain price of $7.  The beautician twisted my rubber arm into getting my top lip done (brows and lip for $10?!) and again – pleasantly surprised with the result!

I’ve had my top lip done before, but I would have to say it was waaaay over a decade ago.  Long enough for me to forget that doing your lip actually makes a difference.  In fact, once she’d finished my eyebrows, the beautician looks at me and says “ok.  So now we do your lip?” and my hand flew to my face, “really? Do you think I need it?”.  Naturally, she said yes.  “It looks neater” she said.  She could’ve been saying “You are a hairy sasquatch and I am DYING to trim that mo” for all my self-confidence was feeling right then.  So I let her.  I mean, who wants to be a sasquatch?

Cut to the next day.  And I’m intermittently itching at my top lip.  First on the left.  Then on the right.  And later in the middle.  I stick my face into The Architect’s and demand “can you see anything on my top lip?”.  He peers.  Nope.  Nothing.  Knowing exactly what men’s eyesight can be like at the best of times (sorry, but it’s my blog and if I want to have a not-so-subtle dig, I will), I went off in search of the nearest mirror.  I turned on the light and looked in the mirror.  And there, running along my top lip like a spray of newbie mushrooms were teeny, tiny little bumps.  Instantly I was on the phone to the beautician, texting furiously.  She replied straight away and said that it was normal for virgin top lips (I’m para-phrasing) and it won’t happen next time (Yeah. Uh HUH).  She instructed me to use vitamin E cream or frequent icing.  Given the temperature was nudging 33 that day, I opted for icing.  Plus we were sans Vitamin E cream..

I realise this is miniscule when we’re talking about examples of beauty #failwhales.  It could’ve been worse.  Much, much worse.   Probably the biggest thing that has happened was when my hair got burnt from some hair straightening product and the whole front section of my fringe fell out.  But for some reason that didn’t really bother me too much, and I wasn’t at all pissed at the salon or the person who did it (I know you still feel bad Nic, but you don’t need to!).

Then there was the time a girl at Pure Indulgence (am I allowed to name and shame like this?) waxed my eyebrows, and she waxed the same spot about six times.  Each time she removed a layer of skin until I had a shiny, pink veneer of flesh just under my brows.  When it scabbed over, it just looked like I was rockin’ a solid maroon eye-shadow.   Actually.  Maybe that was bigger than the hair fall-out incident.

So how about you?  Have you had any beauty #failwhales?

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