Everytime I put my groceries on the conveyor belt at Aldi, my anxiety levels are already rising. By the time I pull my trolley around to “face off” with my opponent (read: check-out operator), I’m mentally thinking: “Let’s dance”…
The usual pleasantries are exchanged, but in Aldi they seem to be so much shorter than my local Woolies or Coles. Even the customer contact is less?! And then we’re off. With swift, practised precision, they’re swiping all my groceries through at an alarming rate. If I don’t keep up and move the groceries into the trolley fast enough, we have a ‘back-up’ situation that I somehow find embarrassing?! I mean, how ridiculous right? This is a mere transaction.
They scan the groceries. I put them in the trolley. Simple. And yet I have managed to put a competitive spin on it in my mind. If I can keep up with them and clear the groceries almost as soon as they’ve been scanned, I am “winning”.
But that’s not all. I am actually planning the entire thing as I’m shopping. I’m mindful to put all the heavy stuff to the front, so that when it comes time to load onto the belt, I can place all the tins and heavy things first. This way, when I’m loading back into my trolley, I’m putting heavy first and all fruit and veg on top, thus saving them from getting squashed. Did I really just waste minutes of my life by typing this paragraph? And am I REALLY going to hit “create post” after this?
Yes, dear non-existent reader. Oh yes, I am.
I need to get a life.